The Customer is NOT Always Right
Misadventures in Retail

Long Lost Humor

Today’s blog is going to be about something from a past job, due to the fact that I have to work all night and may not have time to blog later.

I used to work graveyards at a 24-hour convenience store. This particular store was a huge money drainer for the surrounding community because of one word…Lottery. We were the highest seller of scratch-off tickets and number drawing tickets in the state according to statistics. We would literally have lines of people of all ages buying the scratch-offs. They would buy some tickets, then go to the back of the line and scratch off their tickets as they made their way back to the front. Some people would spend hundreds of dollars at a time and sit in their car, scratching furiously. We even had a few minor scuffles because people would buy tickets right before someone else who had been buying off of that roll and then hit the big winner.

What I submit here isn’t a stupid customer story, but rather a humorous little thing that I had written one night while it was slow and I was bored.  We kept a store log of anything important to let other employees know about the situation. I wrote a false report (not in the real log) that I thought I would share with you.  (Please note, this didn’t really happen.  I was delirious with boredom when I wrote this.  I’m sure you’ve felt this way at some point at your retail job.)

Dear fellow employees or anyone else who might care,

A lady came into work today after a big lottery rush claiming to have lost her grandmother. She described her to me but unfortunately I had so many customers that I honestly couldn’t remember if I had seen her. She left her name and number and I told her I would call if I saw her. Later in the night, while cleaning, I came upon a huge pile of scratch-off shavings. As I was sweeping it up I found a little old lady buried inside the pile. She matched the description of the missing grandmother perfectly. As she stood up out of the pile she held up a single scratch off exclaiming “I won a free ticket!!!”

Remember friends, please make sure you keep an outlet for yourself.  If not, you just might go insane and unleash literary havoc on your place of employment.


One Response to “Long Lost Humor”

  1. Dude! That shit about the old lady in the shavings was so funny! I was not expecting that. I think we all think of funny things at work from time to time to take our minds off the fact that at moments there really is just nothing to do. If only we were so creative…

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