The Customer is NOT Always Right
Misadventures in Retail

Thank you, Oh Wise Teacher. Here’s A Cookie.

Today’s blog is going to be split. The customer story just didn’t seem long enough.

We have this customer from time to time who likes to come in and point out things that we don’t have written in plain sight for the general public. He does it like he is a customer that is really needing the info, then he makes us admit our fallacy and leaves.

Today he came in and went to purchase his item at our self-checkout. He chose the Credit/Debit selection and then ran his card. When the pin pad brought up the numbers for him to enter his pin the fun began.

“So where are the instructions for using this as a credit card instead of a debit card?” He asked, as if he really didn’t know.

“Well you have to hit cancel on the pin…” I started to explain but was cut off.

“No, I want to know where the instructions are. Where does it tell me how to run my card as a credit card?”

“I’m trying to explain how,” I replied.

“I don’t want you to explain, I want you to show me where it tells me how to do it.”

“It doesn’t sir.”

“OK” he nodded triumphantly. “Now tell me how to do it.”

Wow, thank you for showing us where we are lacking oh-wise-one. Now take your crap and get out of my sight, you geni-ass.

Now on a smart note for once, I had a customer bring his dog in. The dog obeyed really well. He sat, and when the customer told him to lie down he did that too. We keep dog treats by our self-checkout station to give to all the dogs that come through. I asked this particular customer if I could give his dog a treat.

“Sure,” he replied. “But make him do something for it.”

“Sit,” I said to the excited dog (he had noticed the treat in my hand).

“No, that’s too easy,” the customer replied. “Point your finger at him and say BANG!” I did as he said and the dog fell over on its side and laid there until I gave him the treat.

How come more of our customers can’t be that smart?


3 Responses to “Thank you, Oh Wise Teacher. Here’s A Cookie.”

  1. At the women’s clothing store at which I previously worked was having a sale on jeans. Now, in the fashion world, some items are referred to in their singular form (e.g. jeans = jean, a pair of shoes = shoe, etc.) On this particular occasion, we were hosting our annual “JEAN SALE”.

    It was a quiet Sunday afternoon and I was working as the interim manager while the co-manager had lunch. My one associate and I were on the floor, casually chatting as no one else was in the store, when an older gentleman in brown slacks, a button-up shirt, and a fedora walked in carrying a briefcase. I greeted him politely and the following conversation ensued:

    Me: Can I help you find anything, sir?
    Annoying Non-Customer: You marketing says, “Half Off Every Jean in the Store”. Does that mean it’s half off each leg of the jeans?
    Me: Excuse me?
    ANC: They are a pair of jeans. Do this customer get half off each leg of the pair of the jeans?
    Me: No, sir. It’s a “Jean Sale” because we’re not limiting the sale to pairs of jeans.
    ANC: Then that’s false advertising with your pairs of jeans.
    Me: Sir, there is nothing I can do about it. This is what the company sent us. Regardless, half price of each leg of the jeans is still half off the entire pair.
    ANC: Still, it is false advertising. You should have thought of something better.

    He then proceeded to walk out. It was one of the oddest exchanges I’ve ever had.

    PS. This blog is great!

  2. Wow, you gotta love that. It’s like his entire day job is walking around to retailers and pointing out problems with their ads. I wonder what was in the briefcase…

  3. Too bad that only a select few get to work retail–as they have to endure sooo much stupidity and strife. I really hope you guys and gals can weather it all without incuring too much damage.

    Oh, and that dog was soo neat!
    Another great story. You should add a link or two for advertisment. I’d totally click each and everyone one, each and every day to help you earn a teeny-tiny extra for all your trouble!

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