The Customer is NOT Always Right
Misadventures in Retail

What? You’re an ass? Of course I want to help you.

For some reason, people like to think that if you act like a total ass to the people who run the returns department, that it will make them want to help you more. I don’t understand this logic. Why would you want to piss off, or hurt the feelings of someone who is trying to help you? I think some customers just have it in their head that the returns cashiers make it their goal to try not to let you return your items. NOT TRUE! Trust me, we would much rather have you out of the store quickly and happy than have you sit and glare at us because we are telling you we can’t take it back.

Then there are people like this customer I had today.

I was in the process of doing a return for a lady and this guy comes in with a little bag of returns. Only, instead of getting in line behind her, he came over and stood about 2 feet away from me, beside my station. He folded his arms and sat there staring at me while I finished the return, mumbling comments I was not paying attention to. Another gentleman that I had been helping earlier came by to show me that he had found the item to exchange so that I could wave him on. I simply said “ok, you’re good to go.”

“Wait, I’m right here. Why don’t you take care of me?” came a voice from my right side. I explained to him that 1) I was not done with the lady I was helping, and 2) I was only waving the guy on so he could leave.

I continued with the lady’s return and heard the guy whisper under his breath “hurry, hurry, hurry.” Of course I did what any self respecting person would do….and went a little slower.

After I had finished with the lady, the guy came up and put his bag on the counter.

“I don’t have a receipt.” He said sharply. “I just want store credit so I can buy more stuff I might have to return.”

I didn’t even look up at him. I just scanned his merchandise in and totaled it. I then asked for his driver’s license to get an ID number in order to issue store credit with no receipt.

“I don’t have it.” he said folding his arms again.

“Do you know your ID number?” I asked. We really aren’t supposed to do that, but I wanted to get this guy out of my area.


“Well unfortunately I can’t refund you. My computer won’t let me do the return without your ID number.”

He let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He reached in and quickly pulled out……HIS FREAKING DRIVER’S LICENSE!

WTF? If you are in a hurry, why in the HELL would you try to make the return more difficult? Why not try a little thing called cooperation. You know, that concept they teach you in elementary school and on all those PBS and Nick Jr. cartoons.

Anyway, I finished his return. As he was leaving the next person in line came up to me and said, “What the hell was his problem?”

Even the general public thinks you’re a douche.


4 Responses to “What? You’re an ass? Of course I want to help you.”

  1. Post more… this is awesome.

  2. Glad you like it. I definitely plan on continuing to update. I’m shooting for at least once a day. So keep checking back, and bring friends 😀

  3. I hope you do manage to get once a day! This is good stuff, that guy WAS a total prick, too bad you’re so neutral in the face of adversity.

    Anyway, hope your always careful and not “found out” so to speak as that would suck majorly

    OMG–thats linkiboy who commented! I KNOW that girl for REAL. LOL. :3.

  4. I know someone named Melinda who actually likes making returns as hard as she possibly can. I use to think she was just doing her job but as time went on I began to notice that she was just a b**ch. Good Times. I use to let people return things for stupid reasons as long as they had their receipt. Technically I was not allowed to return things that were considered defective unless it was a clean exchange for the same item. Who the hell wants to buy an item that just broke….really….think about this for a sec. My manager once pissed me off, so I let a lady return something simply because she said her daughter didn’t think it was the correct shade of pink. It apparently clashed with the girls bicycle helmet. It seemed like a logical reason to me. I gave her a full cash refund.

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